Dealing with Physical Imperfections
I have a lazy eye.
I wasn’t self-conscious about it until I went to school. Mean kids would call me a ‘bheenga daddu’ (Urdu: squint-eyed frog), or ‘terhi aankhon wala Harry Potter’ (cross-eyed Harry Potter). The meanest ones would make cross-eyed faces and cackle like Voldemort.
Thankfully, this overt bullying didn’t last beyond college. But it still stung when someone did a double take when meeting me eye-to-eye for the first time. Or ask, “hey are you talking to me?” when I addressed them in a crowded room, because they were confused by my wandering eye.
For the longest time, I hated my lazy eye but today, I have a more wholesome relationship with it. Here’s what helped:
More sustainable sources of self-esteem
Celebrity culture, fashion, and social media make us think that the good life is reserved for those with dazzling good looks.
As a teenager with a glaring imperfection, I felt like I was playing life on hard mode. So I compensated by applying myself to achieve other, more longer-lasting sources of self-esteem through ‘worldly’ success.
It sounds shallow, but I have no regrets about using all that negative energy to become a skilled designer, an active contributor to the design community, and just making a good life for myself through deeper relationships, studying philosophy and more. These are more sustainable, harder-earned sources of self-esteem.
2️⃣ Humor
In social settings, your glaring physical imperfection feels like the elephant in the room; I address mine with self-depreciating humor. For example, I’m a clumsy person, so when I fumble or knock something over, I’ll jokingly blame my poor eyesight. It always takes the sting out of any off-color comment about my eye.
3️⃣ Gratitude
There is always something to be grateful for.
If we’re on the internet engaging like this, our lives are better than at least a billion people who are suffering from extreme poverty, debilitating physical illness, or war. In the face of all this, having an eye that deviates 21° from center — or any another imperfection — does feel meaningless.
Originally published on Instagram